| Catherine Berchtold |
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| A five minute stop at a friend's house to drop off a video tape shouldn't require much forethought, but I knew better. As the two boys were getting their coats on, I began the lecture. "We are going to be stopping at someone's house for just a second to give them a tape, and I want you guys to be good." In chorus, they sang, "Okay." Eric must not have believed their quick reply and began to lay down specifics for them. "There will be no asking for food." Christopher answered, "Okay." Eric continued, "There will be no going upstairs." "Okay." "There will be no asking to watch T.V." "Okay." "There will be no running." I began to get bored with his lecture and opted for the dramatic approach. "Look. We're only going to be there for a few minutes, so all you have to do is stand next to us and keep quiet. This couple doesn't have kids, so they don't know how they really are, and we don't want you guys to scare them into not having any. Okay?" "Okay." With the weight of the next generation on their shoulders, the boys loaded up in the mini van. On our way to their house, Christopher asked, "Why don't they have kids?" "They haven't been married that long." "How long?" "A couple of years." "But, it only takes 9 months for a woman to have a baby." "Sometimes, a couple wants to spend time alone before they have children." "What for?" "I can't remember." After unloading in their driveway and making sure all the doors were shut, I turned around to find that Jonathan, the five year old, was the first one in line to enter the house. This was not good. By the time I got to the door and in the house, he was half way up the stairs. "Can I go upstairs?" I tried to speak with my eyes and tell him of all the trouble he was in. Verbally, I simply said, "No." While the adults chatted, it became obvious that Jonathan didn't speak body language, because he walked passed me and shuffled into the dining room. Trying my hardest to be as cool as Carol Brady, I followed after him, turned him by the shoulders and slipped his hand into mine. He wiggled his hand in an effort to get away. I tightened my grip. He wiggled more. I tightened more. Suddenly, he blurted out, "Ouch! You're hurting me!" I let go. Next, he wondered to the other side of the foyer, where I couldn't reach him, and opened a closet door. "Is this the bathroom?" Eric ran defense for me and grabbed him. However, his defense stance was short lived and he pointed Jonathan in my direction. On his way to me, he stopped to ask the man of the house, "Can I watch TV in your room upstairs?" I nearly shouted before the man could respond, "No!" Undaunted, Jonathan moved on to the lady of the house. "Why don't you have kids?" I slapped my hands together for a diversion. "Well, we better be going." We herded the boys out of the house and into the mini van to make our escape. As soon as the doors were shut, Jonathan bounced in his seat and asked, "Well? Was I good?" Thought for the day: Children should come like televisions - with a remote control and a money back guarantee. |
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